One thing we never have to worry about running out of are rich people giving free advice about how they got there or self-help books written by those who think their wisdom can do as much for themselves as others. Advice or “success stories” seem to fall into one of two categories:

1.  The Great “Man” Theory — This line of thinking is most prevalent in sports where physical gifts clearly make a big difference, but also holds sway in the arts, politics and to a certain extent, business. Some people are born with innate talents, which if combined with the right experience, work ethic and opportunities allows them to achieve greatness. In business, this thinking seems to be most prevalent in Silicon Valley where entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates & Mark Zuckerberg are deified. And leads others like Elizabeth Holmes seem to be as well. This line of thinking encourages the youth of America to endeavor to find their true calling, motivates some to break all the rules, while discouraging others.

2. Work Ethic - Malcolm Gladwell & others have pushed the concept that those who are successful are those who had the opportunity to outwork their rivals and put in more engaged practice to be successful. This route to success isn’t too complicated; all you have to do is look to your left, look to your right and do just a little bit more than everyone else. Michael Jordan wasn’t the greatest basketball player of all time because he was the most talented; he walked, talked and slept basketball. No one was in the gym earlier or left later or practiced with more intensity while there. Sure, he had natural gifts being 6’6” & having older brothers who could push him to be better at an early age, but so are many others. It was his work ethic and singular focus that made him better. And in business, you’ll hear of many similar stories whether in training investment bankers to sleep under their desks go to work coming off a Red Eye as a badge of honor or proudly boast about little sleep you get.

I don’t want to throw doubt or shade at either theory. And frankly, I think to be the best at anything intensely competitive, you need both. You need a work ethic that separates you from the path and in many professions, such as design, writing art, sports, music. Even in certain business fields where quantitative aptitude is critical, innate talent is important. But I’ve found these aren’t the only two paths to success and pretending otherwise is an incredible disservice to so many.

A third, often overlooked quality is important: The ability to attract, inspire & motivate others to be successful. Even in sports, the Michael Jordan model is out and the Golden State / Lebron James super teams are in. Society is changing and this new model is becoming increasingly important. Sure, if you’re smart, hardworking & talented, others will ride your coat tails, but I can’t tell you the number of successful executives I’ve encountered who don’t outwork their peers at the expense of their friends & family balance and certainly didn’t seem to possess some incredible, tangible, superhuman, innate talent that’s obvious to all.

I first saw this example when I was a young consultant in my career at Accenture. I was inspired by a partner at the firm who led one of my first projects. He didn’t have a prestigious degree and despite having really strong communications skills, didn’t seem to be the smartest person in the room. He worked hard for sure, but his family was the center of his life. Sure, he’d be out late with entertaining clients or in the office when he needed to be, but there were many weekdays where he would work from home and unplug for many hours to spend time with his children. But he had universal respect, was competent and no one doubted he deserve his position. Here’s what I learned about how he got there:

• He had an open and positive attitude that always made working with him enjoyable, even during the most mundane conversations. He never lost his cool, even when there was a screw up. If he was upset you knew it, but he never alienated people and went out of his way to always be a connector and inclusive

• When he was focused on what you were doing, he was 100% present and you felt the benefit of having his full attention

• He was good to his team. At Accenture, partners were managed to an internally-negotiated profit margin. Most would do everything they could to bend the system like asking teams to work time and not bill the client or pinch on expenses. I once had a partner on a team encourage us to have a team outing but spend no more than $20 a person. Instead, Ken made sure that the full team went out every other week after a full on-hands to communication project status and paid for it out of his margin. The outings were never fancy, but felt like we were being cheated. The beers built camaraderie and bought him much more value than the margin he was giving away in expenses with loyalty & productivity. I would estimate that with this single step in a very intense project, he significantly increased team morale on a project burning over $5MM a month with over 150 people by spending under $3,000.

Attend any top business school or listen to enough Ted Talks and you’ll hear stories like this. It’s often usually couched in the catchy term: Emotional Intelligence. But sociopaths are also emotionally intelligent, manipulate people to get what they want and leave many burned bridges in their wake.

But with four methods, I’m learning how to be a people magnet and get great people to make me look good:

1. Be nice in every sense of the word - It isn't always easy but people like to be around agreeable people. So many will be polite and say what they think you want to hear but will stab you in the back. Being nice also means being direct, fair and honest. Especially in front of others, it’s always important to support your team, but you don’t do anyone a service if your people don’t know where they stand or their areas of development. Expressing frustration, dissatisfaction or other negative emotions with your words, but not your emotions is always appreciated. And it doesn’t matter how well you can sell, sometimes you have to serve someone a shit sandwich. But you don’t have to make them pretend that it tastes good. It’s all HOW you express the message.

2. Be present - In an age of smartphones & intense schedules, this is always challenging, particularly for middle managers who often have to juggle family priorities. I’ve found quality always trumps quantity with your time as a leader. Sometimes, a great 20 minute conversation is all you need to get someone on the right track for many months. If you aren’t fully engaged, your will start thinking that you aren’t truly invested in them, shut down and will not give you the full honesty. After all, if they don’t think you’re ‘all in’, why would they be fully invested in helping you? Don’t just listen, try to find an environment to do this. In person, make sure to take meetings in quiet, private spaces with phones away. Otherwise, try to communicate by video with all other distractions eliminated.

3. Go to bat for your people - Find out what your people want and get it for them if they earn it. It’s as simply as that. Everyone has extrinsic motivators like money or title, but intrinsic factors like engaging in work of interest, autonomy or building a strong team spirit may be may be most critical to some. Understand that teams are always temporary. At junior levels, you can’t expect someone to work for you for more than 12-24 months. So manage to a journey of 3 months of on boarding, 3 months hitting their stride and no more than 6 - 12 months of highly-productive contributions before you need to both start thinking about the next thing. Don’t manage up and kick down. And when things get tough, avoid the temptation to be the thermometer. Try to be the thermostat instead. Always find opportunities to “Sell” the accomplishments of your team and fight hard for them when it comes time to rank against those on other teams for performance.

4. Create a positive team environment - It doesn’t mean “work hard, play hard.” I used to work in government with a team of people that loved potluck lunches and deep discussions about what they were reading. Knowing what your team likes to do and ensuring you invest in team-building will always reward you in the long-term.